PROF. BEN ONYEUKWU (REV.)
NCE (English); Dip (Computer Studies);
ND/HD (Journalism); Dip, BA (Theology) MA, PhD.
Call: +2348037346939 E-mail: professorbenonyeukwu@yahoo.com
THE
BIBLE AND FAMILY RULES {PART 1}
Presenter: Nightengale Ben-Onyeukwu[Sunday
School Director]
Devotional Text: 2
Cor. 5:17-21
INTRODUCTION:
Husband and wife are the foundation of the family,
and their coming together in marriage, biblically speaking, is fundamentally
for companionship {Gen 2:18-24}, and so, procreation only widens the
relationship,{Gen 1:26-28}. This, therefore, implies that child-bearing is not
the basis of love in family life. To this end, this lesson stresses that
child-bearing or no child-bearing in marriage, husbands should love their
wives, and riches or no riches in married life, wives should submit to their
own husbands, as marriage relationship is not conditioned on child-bearing or
any form of material blessing, {Eph 5:22-33; Gen 2:18-20}.
GENERAL
REMARKS
(1) Husband and
wife relationship in family is purely based on mutual love and submission, {Eph
5:22-33}
(2) In husband
and wife relationship, everybody is in obligation to keep the terms of the
relationship, {vs 22-33}
(3) In husband
and wife relationship, also, companionship is the first thing in the
relationship, {Gen 2:18-20}
(4) Equally, in
husband and wife relationship, third party should not be allowed, as Eve
allowed satan
to plant the first
insubordination in human family, {Gen 3:1-6}.
HUSBAND’S
FAMILY RULES FOR THE WIFE
According to
the Collins English Dictionary, “rules are instructions that tell you what you
are allowed to do, and what you are not allowed to do”. In marital
relationship, the Holy Scripture shows how affairs should be taken care of,
between couples. To the husband, the grand instruction is, “love your wife”, {Eph 5:22}. Here, GOD’S WORD draws attention to
sacrificial love, since it points to the LOVE of CHRIST wherein HE laid down
HIS LIFE for the Church, {vs22}. To this end, husband’s love for the wife must
be fine-tuned with a holy touch of admiration, which implies that a husband
must, as a matter of commitment, love the wife beyond the influences or
charming of any other woman, as well as be willing to protect her from any form
of aggression that poses threat to her life and well-being. Also, husband’s
love for the wife must, as well, trigger off a sense of commitment which seeks
to provide the basic necessities of life for her comfort and happiness, {vs
22}. Therefore, husband’s love for the wife should not;
(i)
Keep records of wrongs, but should keep all biblical principles of
love, {1Cor 13:4-7}
(ii) Contemplate
infidelity or divorce, but should maintain uncompromised love, {Mal. 2:16;Eph
5:25}
(iii) Consider
external influences or preferences that could warrant mental or actual
adultery, {Matt.5:28; 2Sam. 11:2-5ff}.
WIFE’S
FAMILY RULES FOR THE HUSBAND
Once again,
“rules are instructions that tell you what you are allowed to do, and what you
are not allowed to do.” To the wife, the background of rules that govern her
relationship in marriage is “submission.”
Thus, the Holy Scripture says, “wives submit to your husbands as to the LORD,”
{Eph. 5:22}. This implies that a wife, who submits to the husband, does not
necessarily submit to the man, but to the LORD, and so, any violation of this
rule, is insubordination to the LORD and not just to the husband. But,
submission to a husband should not be when it goes against the WORD OF GOD.
For, a wife is, biblically encouraged to resist any attempt by the husband,
which seeks to lure her into idol worship or anything that contradicts her
faith in CHRIST. In this case, she ought to obey GOD rather than man, {Acts5:29}.
However, the submission of a wife to her husband in everything that does not
violate the WORD of GOD or her faith in CHRIST should be second to none, since
she has to submit to her husband above every other man, boss, pastor or any
person, no matter how highly placed. In other words, a wife should not submit
to any other man above her own husband. In line with the foregoing, therefore,
this lesson opines that a wife should:
(i)
Submit to her husband in everything that does not violate the WORD
of GOD or her faith in CHRIST { Col. 3:18; Acts 5:29}
(ii) Not submit
to her husband when any attempt is made to lure her out of her godly faith,
{Vs. 29}
(iii) Always
remember that she is first accountable to the LORD our GOD before her husband,
{Eph. 5:22}
PROBLEM OF
THIRD PARTY IN HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP
The biblical
expression, “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” {Gen. 2:24} shows that
third party is not allowed in husband and wife relationship. Though, a husband
and wife may need some godly pieces of advice in handling certain domestic
problems, but on no account should they allow external influences to
over-shadow their private or domestic matters. In this connection, undue
influences of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, mothers-in-law,
fathers-in-law, bosses, pastors, community leaders, and more, should not be
allowed in the relationship of a husband and his wife, as they should learn to
solve their own problems themselves. And so, mutual trust, love and
faithfulness to each other should be their watch-word. In furtherance, husband
and wife should endeavour to stop busybody elements from meddling in the
affairs of their union, to avoid kick-starting misgivings that could affect
their relationship negatively. Based on the above narrative, it becomes
biblically in order to state that:
(i)
Husband and wife should learn to live in oneness of life and
purpose, {Gen. 2:22-24}
(ii) They should
equally learn to shun every busybody element that may come to insinuate
falsehood
that
could lead to breakdown in the union, {1 Tim. 5:13}
(iii) Husband and
wife should, as well, learn to guard against every gossip that could stir up
suspicion
in their union, {vs. 13; 2
Thess. 3:11}.
In
conclusion,
this lesson states that the relationship of husband and wife is governed by
rules, which permits no civil or any other eternal interferences, since marriage, is a Divine institution, which only
GOD HAS the real answer to the problems which satan brings to destroy it. PRAY FOR FAMILIES TODAY!
