THE BIBLE AND FAMILY RULES {PART 1}

PROF. BEN ONYEUKWU (REV.)

NCE (English); Dip (Computer Studies); ND/HD (Journalism); Dip, BA (Theology) MA, PhD.

Call: +2348037346939 E-mail: professorbenonyeukwu@yahoo.com

THE BIBLE AND FAMILY RULES {PART 1}

Husband - Wife Relationship

Presenter: Nightengale Ben-Onyeukwu[Sunday School Director]

 Devotional Text: 2 Cor. 5:17-21

INTRODUCTION:

Husband and wife are the foundation of the family, and their coming together in marriage, biblically speaking, is fundamentally for companionship {Gen 2:18-24}, and so, procreation only widens the relationship,{Gen 1:26-28}. This, therefore, implies that child-bearing is not the basis of love in family life. To this end, this lesson stresses that child-bearing or no child-bearing in marriage, husbands should love their wives, and riches or no riches in married life, wives should submit to their own husbands, as marriage relationship is not conditioned on child-bearing or any form of material blessing, {Eph 5:22-33; Gen 2:18-20}.

GENERAL REMARKS

(1)       Husband and wife relationship in family is purely based on mutual love and submission, {Eph 5:22-33}

(2)       In husband and wife relationship, everybody is in obligation to keep the terms of the relationship, {vs 22-33}

(3)       In husband and wife relationship, also, companionship is the first thing in the relationship, {Gen 2:18-20}

(4)       Equally, in husband and wife relationship, third party should not be allowed, as Eve allowed satan

 to plant the first insubordination in human family, {Gen 3:1-6}.

HUSBAND’S FAMILY RULES FOR THE WIFE

According to the Collins English Dictionary, “rules are instructions that tell you what you are allowed to do, and what you are not allowed to do”. In marital relationship, the Holy Scripture shows how affairs should be taken care of, between couples. To the husband, the grand instruction is, “love your wife”, {Eph 5:22}. Here, GOD’S WORD draws attention to sacrificial love, since it points to the LOVE of CHRIST wherein HE laid down HIS LIFE for the Church, {vs22}. To this end, husband’s love for the wife must be fine-tuned with a holy touch of admiration, which implies that a husband must, as a matter of commitment, love the wife beyond the influences or charming of any other woman, as well as be willing to protect her from any form of aggression that poses threat to her life and well-being. Also, husband’s love for the wife must, as well, trigger off a sense of commitment which seeks to provide the basic necessities of life for her comfort and happiness, {vs 22}. Therefore, husband’s love for the wife should not;

(i)        Keep records of wrongs, but should keep all biblical principles of love, {1Cor 13:4-7}

(ii)      Contemplate infidelity or divorce, but should maintain uncompromised love, {Mal. 2:16;Eph 5:25}

(iii)     Consider external influences or preferences that could warrant mental or actual adultery, {Matt.5:28; 2Sam. 11:2-5ff}.

WIFE’S FAMILY RULES FOR THE HUSBAND

Once again, “rules are instructions that tell you what you are allowed to do, and what you are not allowed to do.” To the wife, the background of rules that govern her relationship in marriage is “submission.” Thus, the Holy Scripture says, “wives submit to your husbands as to the LORD,” {Eph. 5:22}. This implies that a wife, who submits to the husband, does not necessarily submit to the man, but to the LORD, and so, any violation of this rule, is insubordination to the LORD and not just to the husband. But, submission to a husband should not be when it goes against the WORD OF GOD. For, a wife is, biblically encouraged to resist any attempt by the husband, which seeks to lure her into idol worship or anything that contradicts her faith in CHRIST. In this case, she ought to obey GOD rather than man, {Acts5:29}. However, the submission of a wife to her husband in everything that does not violate the WORD of GOD or her faith in CHRIST should be second to none, since she has to submit to her husband above every other man, boss, pastor or any person, no matter how highly placed. In other words, a wife should not submit to any other man above her own husband. In line with the foregoing, therefore, this lesson opines that a wife should:

(i)        Submit to her husband in everything that does not violate the WORD of GOD or her faith in CHRIST { Col. 3:18; Acts 5:29}

(ii)      Not submit to her husband when any attempt is made to lure her out of her godly faith, {Vs. 29}

(iii)     Always remember that she is first accountable to the LORD our GOD before her husband, {Eph. 5:22}

PROBLEM OF THIRD PARTY IN HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP

The biblical expression, “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” {Gen. 2:24} shows that third party is not allowed in husband and wife relationship. Though, a husband and wife may need some godly pieces of advice in handling certain domestic problems, but on no account should they allow external influences to over-shadow their private or domestic matters. In this connection, undue influences of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, bosses, pastors, community leaders, and more, should not be allowed in the relationship of a husband and his wife, as they should learn to solve their own problems themselves. And so, mutual trust, love and faithfulness to each other should be their watch-word. In furtherance, husband and wife should endeavour to stop busybody elements from meddling in the affairs of their union, to avoid kick-starting misgivings that could affect their relationship negatively. Based on the above narrative, it becomes biblically in order to state that:

(i)        Husband and wife should learn to live in oneness of life and purpose, {Gen. 2:22-24}

(ii)      They should equally learn to shun every busybody element that may come to insinuate falsehood

 that could lead to breakdown in the union, {1 Tim. 5:13}

(iii)     Husband and wife should, as well, learn to guard against every gossip that could stir up suspicion

 in their union, {vs. 13; 2 Thess. 3:11}.

In conclusion, this lesson states that the relationship of husband and wife is governed by rules, which permits no civil or any other eternal interferences, since  marriage, is a Divine institution, which only GOD HAS the real answer to the problems which satan brings to destroy it. PRAY FOR FAMILIES TODAY!